R520 E-mails Round Zero

Sad Ryu:  I had a dream involving the r520 last night. Wewere in a flat in sandymount because andrew and Kelli were hiding from the immigration police. Darron kept talking about toilet seat boners. James dave and Barry we little boys but wouldn’t explain why. Please stay out of my sleep head in future, thanks.

DCStyle:

Toilet Seat Boners?!!
…Toilet Seat Boners?!!
Are these on your mind alot lately?

dr_faulk:  No they’re on his toilet seat a lot.

Sad Ryu:  They were on your mind a lot! Or at least that must be the impression you’re giving if it made it into my dream.

dr_faulk:  If you slow down DCStyle’s speech you’ll see the letters ‘k-n-o-b’ dispersed throughout.

DCStyle:  Oh why dont you marry me dr_faulk.

dr_faulk:  Have you been watching Arrested Development?

DCStyle:  No Im just grumpy / in love with you
FlightRisker: Can we make the Barry 520 part of the blog? It’s like an insight into insanity.

From today:

Barry’s new status message – If only I had my solar powered bible   12:05 PM

Barry’s new status message – Lunch   1:00 PM

Barry’s new status message – hmmm   2:07 PM

Barry’s new status message – what a knob   2:54 PM

Barry’s new status message – days dragging on….   3:31 PM

Tensai808:  for DCStyle

dr_faulk:  And the Award For Best Comment Goes To:

bazanko (2 hours ago)

CHRIS BENOIT’S GHOST

DCStyle: I dunno … can it top this?

JeffHardyFan365 (2 weeks ago)

OH man i laught me almost dead that was lol

dr_faulk:  “JeffHardyFan365” isn’t a REAL JeffHardyFan, otherwise he’d be
“JeffHardyFan365.25”

dr_faulk:  The holes in the armpits of my t-shirt have spread across my nipples.
Thank God I’m wearing a jumper.

Flightrisker:  Pity the jumper is made of cling film.

dr_faulk:  It came free when I bought €20 or more of petrol.

Flightrisker: 

dr_faulk:  Wasn’t this guy in the first or second episode of Cowboy Bebop?

Tensai808:  yeah it’s a cross between him (Mugen) and….Lenny Kravitz?

dr_faulk:  I could imagine it’s what our Dad would’ve looked like as a professional 1970’s soccer player if he wasn’t our Dad at all.

Flightrisker:

Barry’s new status message – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1t5fVsknJcc&feature=player_embedded 12:38 PM

Barry’s new status message – Lunch   12:59 PM

Tensai808:  LEAVE HIM ALONE!!!

dr_faulk:  But the Barry520 is as every bit as fascinating as the R520.

Rarry520.

Tensai808:  WHERE IS BARRY’S RSS FEED SO I CAN FOLLOW HIM?

Flightrisker:  FIXED!
On Thu, Jan 21, 2010 at 1:07 PM, Tensai808 wrote:
WHERE IS BARRY’S ARSE FEED SO I CAN FOLLOW HIM?

dr_faulk:  FIXED!

> On Thu, Jan 21, 2010 at 1:07 PM, Tensai808 wrote:

>> WHERE IS BARRY’S ARSE SCENT SO I CAN FOLLOW HIM?

DCStyle:  FIXED!

> On Thu, Jan 21, 2010 at 1:07 PM, Tensai808 wrote:

>> WHERE IS BARRY’S ARSE ENTRANCE SO I CAN FONDLE HIM?

Sad Ryu:

> On Thu, Jan 21, 2010 at 1:07 PM, Tensai808 wrote:

>> WHERE IS BARRY’S ARSE TOILET SEAT BONER SO I CAN FONDLE HIM?

Tensai808:  I DLd this but haven’t installed yet.
Afraid.
www.bumptop.com/

DCStyle:  Let us know what its like; it looks kerazy.

Tensai808:  YOU GO FIRST!

DCStyle:  You’ve bought it already!

Tensai808:  IT’S A DEMO

DCStyle:  Dont REMOnstrate with me!

Tensai808:  REMONPARTY!

Flightrisker:  Razor Lemon

DCStyle:  Lemonade:

dr_faulk:  24-Hour Lemons Race:

Tensai808:  THIS IS THE NEWZ. PAPER.

Most surprising ending ever?

R520

Funny conversation on Xbox Live last night:

Guy: "18 months together and if she has to sneek into my Facebook
account to see what I’m doin’, I ain’t buyin’ it."
Me: "Maybe she was trying to contact all your friends and throw you a
surprise party?"
Guy: "Bitch got a surprise all right when I threw her outta the house."

World Celebrates Reincarnation of Michael Jackson

Australian news banana The Daily Skingraph are reporting on the great news about Michael Jackson climbing out of a sheep in a small village in Turkey.  The singer is believed to have transcended all realms of life and death in the shortest possible time, in order not to delay his comeback career concert dates.

Many were questioning the claim, but suddenly converted to Believeism after seeing photographs of the hairless, white, man-faced body that emerged, gloop and all.

The local governer claims that this was the result of “an unnatural relationship between the female goat and a man”,  further suggesting that Mr. Jackson may be his own father.

Jackson later gave the vets that delivered him a startling rendition of “The way you make me feel”, before serenading them with “Liberian Girl”, which was broadcast about the Middle East, ending all conflicts in the region.

Jackson Comeback: "I just had to do it for my fans." Source: The Daily Telegraph

Avatar Wins ‘Best Film’ Golden Globe

… despite being an overly-long half-decent sci-fi retelling of the Pocahontas story.  Isn’t anyone else shocked by this?  The major news outlets have reported it in perfectly normal editorials, and not with images of the Golden Globe audience climbing over itself other to reef out James Cameron’s grotesquely white wig.

I’ve lost faith in so many of you.  Especially you, BanKiMoon.

Ban Ki Moon:  “I LOVE AVATAR! PAINT FACE BLUE! LOOK LIKE BIG BLUE AFRICAN!”

Be careful what you tweet for

A man was arrested for a tweet which alluded to blowing up Doncaster airport. I must admit that I am rather behind on the world of Twitter (or Twitoflox as it’s more commonly known), but as much as I was a little disturbed at the use of "tweets" as a real word, I am a little more concerned that they now appear to be admissable as evidence. In 2005 I made a critically ignored blog about the kidnapping and cannibalisation of Sir Bob Geldof. I guess I lucked out that this, mostly fictious, event would have been considered as an act of goodwill as opposed to a threat of terrorism

Artist’s impression of what the twi-diot probably intended to happen.

VVVVVV – Brought to you by the letter 6

I cannot stress how highly I recommend this game (click image for link to demo)

THE REAL NEWS

Bringing you the really important stuff from around the net, unlike Flightrisker’s questionable ‘BBC’ propaganda.

http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Is_the_WWE_wrestler_Eugene_really_mentally_disabled

BBCLOL or How the BBC is turning into The Day Today

There is a growing trend on the, once reputable, BBC News Website to give webtime (1.06 seconds x clicks per index finger) to increasingly preposterous stories. The trend with these stories appears to be to find an event that allows for the most insane headline ever, presumably to draw in web clickers (surfers) with their promise of tales from the depths of BizarroLand. While some do have stories which out-do their headline I feel they are best enjoyed as a series of headlines, leaving your brain muscles to squeeze out an appropriate mind picture.

Below I have gathered up some of my favourites from the past year.

Lettuce nose-stuffer avoids jail
I hope his plea was “Aw, lettuce go.”

Teacake set to cost taxman £3.5m
Ambassador with these teacakes you are really… bankrupting the country….

Gers star hurt by exploding egg
Microwaving an egg, what could possible go wr-AAGGGHHH MY EYES!!!

US ‘banana gun robber’ slips up
Special mention for the amazing quote of“If he had had a gun he would’ve shot me,” Mr Mabe told the Winston-Salem Journal newspaper. “But he had a banana.”

‘Duck island’ claim MP to retire
“It’s real I tells ye! Real!!!! Ah screw it I quit.”

Retiring Army goat’s new zoo home
What a fall from grace.

Glowing monkeys ‘to aid research’
If by research you mean “underground rave parties in Soho.”

Science ponders ‘zombie attack’
I’m not sure what’s worse. The fact that they bothered to write this article or that one of their sources is “Professor Robert Smith?” (the question mark is part of his surname and not a typographical mistake)”.

Good thing we have Professor Neil!

“My understanding of zombie biology is that if you manage to decapitate a zombie then it’s dead forever”
Professor Neil Ferguson

New warning on ‘perfect vaginas’
Better safe than sorry.

MILF holds priest hostage.
Stockholm Syndrome takes a new twist

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