This Is The Last Thing On Earth Any Of Us Ever Wanted, Needed

God had a good chuckle today as he threw the failing human population a snake with an arm. Whether this was to scare us into action or to finish us off is still unknown.

The report was a news bullet from the gun of Lithuanian source, Delfi, straight to the head of humanity’s dying hope. (Why did a Chinese woman report this to a Lithuanian newspaper? It’s a Web 2.3 reality after all!)

Seriously – snakes with arms – we might as well just give up. Once our opposable digits gave us the clever advantage over their deathly poison glands, but now we’re doomed to a future of cell apoptosis while being strangled, which will more than likely be the weekly highlight of some reality TV show where the ant-like humans are hunted down by a crack team of reptilian mercenaries who have long since taken control of our governments, cranes and bus lanes.

And only next week I was being given my certificate in table etiquette…. damn.


Bolster your pants because they found a 3 metre python in the River Slaney, Co. Wexford!! RTE have this one fully covered. I think it’s safe to say that NAMA and Lisbon should be completely forgotten about, and all government and state resources should be focused on smashing every inch of this 8″ circumferenced bastard to pieces.

What a day. What’s next? Heh, Patrick Swayze dying? … OH F-


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