World Heroes Defeat Titanic Criminal

The world breathed a sigh of relief (exhaling somewhere near Java) after a historical terrorist was brought to justice. Millvina Dean, last “survivor” of the White Star liner “Titanic”, also known to the crime fighting world as “Cripple Face” was fired to the depths of the ocean in a man-abandoned cyber missile of submarine abilities.

Citing badly drawn images of the once menacing ship wrecker, Senior Detectivite Jonathon Groomb explained how “her powers were beyond anything science could arm wrestle, even if it were a late night arm-wrestle, and her powers had been drinking since two in the afternoon.” He continued, “Once Cripple Face fired her vision beams, you were entranced into a state of complete contrasendia”, the resulting effect leaving many of her victims suffering extreme bouts of rage when faced with potatoes.

Cripple face is expected to return later in the year to sign a multi-million dollar movie contract before descending back into the mid-Atlantic rift, an area commonly known to locals as “Woman’s Bits”.

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